


falling & falling together

by falsettolands



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kevin is a mess, M/M, Post-Canon, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 01:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11590578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsettolands/pseuds/falsettolands
Summary: Kevin was bored. I mean he was fine, don't get him wrong he was living absolutely fine. His job put a roof over his head, paid for his therapy and gave him enough food for his cat. Nevertheless, it was sucking the life out of him. And he missed Connor, though he'd never admit it.-or when kevin's lonely and bitter and connor mckinley just makes his life a whole lot better.





	falling & falling together

Kevin was bored. I mean he was fine, don't get him wrong he was living absolutely fine. His job put a roof over his head, paid for his therapy and gave him enough food for his cat. Nevertheless, it was sucking the life out of him.

Most of the other elders had returned to Utah, hell, he did too, for awhile. He went to The University of Utah for two years before transferring to Columbia. He couldn’t tell if it was because he wanted to, or if he just wanted to get further away from it all. It all, being Connor. They had a thing going on in Uganda it started with comforting each other; whether it was hell dreams or internalized homophobia; they were always there for each other. Until they weren’t. Connor had his heart in UCLA; to get away from it all and explore his new life. And it just didn’t include Kevin.

_Stop thinking like that Kevin you know that's not how it went._ And it wasn’t, but that's how it felt. Kevin didn’t want to follow Connor to California and Connor wasn’t compromising.

_“It's what's best for me, Kevin, don't you care?”_

Of course he cared, fuck, he cared so much that five years didn’t wash away the words burned in his memory. They tried, they really did but they were so far away and Kevin felt as though Connor didn’t want him around. He had new friends, smart friends, _gay_ friends. It was overwhelming for Kevin.

He didn’t tell him he moved to New York when he did.

He had fallen into a routine, work, sleep, sex with nameless faces when he wanted. And that's about all his life consisted of. He had one friend, well two if you counted Albert, her name was Audrey and they went to Columbia together. She wears her hair long and her skirts longer, she smokes weed and drinks red wine. She loves telling Kevin when he's wrong. They haven't spoken in awhile. Albert though, Albert was his three legged cat, his best friend. He eats better than Kevin does on most days.

So it was a Friday and he’d woken up at 8 a.m. like he did everyday. He made breakfast and made snide comments to no one about the Today show; like he did everyday.

Then he heard a knock on his door and he almost spilled his milk on Albert. Albert meowed angrily. “You’re telling me” he mumbled, to himself, mostly. He didn’t bother looking into the peephole before opening the door.

_Connor McKinley_. What the _fuck_

“Hiya, Kevin!” and his voice was the same and he still looked like he was made of sunshine itself.

“Oh- Uhm Hi, Connor, What are you doing here” He didn't mean for it to sound rude, or maybe he did, again, he couldn't tell.

“Oh, well, I uhm, I live here now” He sputtered, picking up on Kevin’s snideness. He didn't wait for Kevin to ask anything else before he went into it all. “Yeah uh I work as a psychologist here, I started a few months back, in August” He said looking at his feet and rubbing his hands over his pant leg.

“Wow Connor, that's- that's great, come in” He managed out, Why are you letting him in? He’d curse himself for this later. “So how have you been I haven’t seen you in like - “Five years” Kevin finished. Connors face fell, and it hurt Kevin, God, why do I care so much. “Uh- yeah, shit, I’m sorry Kev” he said slowly, still studying his shoes. Kevin thought that's what he needed, the apology, but he was still boiling, maybe because it wasn’t Connor’s fault.

“It's fine, honestly, I'm fine, really, I’m great. In fact I have work soon so I got to get going” He rushed out in one breath.

Connor’s face screwed up in confusion “Really? You have work the day after Thanksgiving”

_Oh. No_. No, he didn’t have work, he almost had forgotten that yesterday was thanksgiving. His parents had called and he ordered chinese.

“Oh - yeah uhm. I guess not” he choked out a laugh but it all felt made of plastic. The silence swept arounds Kevin's kitchen. Connor was now staring at Kevin and Kevin was now studying his bare feet. “How’d you find my place anyway” he mumbled, before he realized.

“Arnold” they both said, then laughed, maybe a little too loud.

“I really am sorry Kev, I should’ve tried harder” Connor said in a voice too sickly sweet. They were sitting now and Kevin was still looking at his toes.

“Yeah, well I should've called”

“Yeah… Yeah that's true”

“You were so far away Connor”

“Closer than New York fucking City”

And that made Kevin look at him and I mean really look at him. His face was still soft but there was an edge to him now. His hair was messy but it looked like he meant it to be that way. His lips were taut and pink, he didn’t know if he wanted to kiss them or hit them.

“I should've told you I guess” Kevin coughed out

“You guess?" the way Connor yelled, almost scared Kevin.  

"I was in love with you Kevin! You knew that!”

He didn’t.

He slowly raised his head to look at Connor again. He was so angry. He hated that he caused that.

“Yeah? And how many guys have there been after me?” he spat.

God what was he _saying_.

“Kevin, What the fuck! They didn’t matter! Known of them mattered compared to you!” he said throwing his hands up. “And you cannot tell me you’ve been alone for five fucking years” his voice dropped and he pointed a finger. Kevin laughed, he really did.

“If only you knew.”

Connor’s hands and expression fell, he looked so exhausted, so frustrated. He ran a palm across his face. Kevin hated that he was the cause of his pain. Fuck, what happened to them.

“I’m sorry Connor, I’m sorry for- for not calling and… and running away, I thought you didn’t want me around” he admitted and he was sincere, he really was. Connor felt that, he dropped to his knees and held Kevin’s hands that were clasped together so tightly they had turned white. Connor unfurled Kevin’s hands and locked them around his own. He always knew exactly what to do to make Kevin unravel.

He felt hot tears pool in his eyes. _Fuck, don’t cry, for fucks sake._

“Can we start over, Kevin, Please” Connor pleaded his voice shaky, his hand was on Kevin’s cheek now.

Kevin nodded so violently he thought his head was to fall off. Connor giggled through his own tears and he pressed their foreheads together. Kevin choked out a sob and Connor held him tighter. They smiled, and laughed and kissed. And the breathed, together, finally.

-

It had been four weeks, And fuck it was bliss. Sure they had to work things out but it was so, so wonderful. Connor basically lived at Kevin’s apartment. They held hands and kissed and more and it was better than Connor had ever dreamed of.

One morning, a rare Saturday when neither of them worked. They stayed in bed until noon, holding each other and just talking. Connor had positioned himself at the crook of Kevin’s neck and he was tracing flowers and hearts on his boy’s bicep with his finger.

“Hey Kev?” Connor started shakily.

“Hmm?” Kevin hummed into Connor’s hair.

“I think I love you”

Then silence fell onto both of them and each body froze.

“I know I love you” Connor corrected.

He turned to face Kevin, he’d always had been taller. And Kevin smiled and he looked as is if he was made of sunlight. It looked like it was the first time he’d smiled like that in months, no years.

“I love you too Connor” He said through whispered, curved lips.

And they laughed and hugged and Kevin pressed endless kissed all over Connor. And things were as they were meant to be.

-

**Author's Note:**

> hey !!! this fic is the first time i've written in a very long time so hopefully it doesn't suck too bad !!!!!!!  
> also connor & kevin are angels and i'd die for them.


End file.
